new mexico (three)

i am afraid of heights.  it's not being up high, exactly, it's more about being on the edge.  i am afraid of edges, really.

when we went to yosemite four or so years ago, i was willing my body to melt into the side of the mountain all the way up the switchback trail.  but all the way up i kept saying to the kids, "please be sure, when you tell this story to your own children one day, please be sure they know that no matter how afraid i was, that i DID it."  and i did.  they still talk about that hike and they still laugh at me and that's ok, because i know that my fear is irrational, but i did it.

we hiked to the top of the tent rocks national monument outside of santa fe two weeks ago.  the hike was mostly in a (stunning) canyon; the climb was steep, the ground was sandy, there were rocks to scramble over, but as we went up and up and up there were no edges, until at last, there were.

i climbed as far as i could with dry palms and i sent dave on the rest of the way without me.  these shots of the rock formations were taken from that spot.  i was high up there, and sitting on the edge, and feeling fine about all of it, when dave came back to get me.  he had made it to the top, it was spectacular, and he said i had to go.  so i did.  with his hand and his encouragement, i made it to the very top.  (turns out it was only that one spot that was scary for me - the rest of the hike up was cake.)  i'm so glad i did.  and i couldn't have without dave's encouragement - a perfect meataphor for the weekend of our wedding anniversary.