6 april

on monday we took the kids to the baseball game.  it was the season home opener, and i'm not sure who was more thrilled - them, or me.

we used to go to opening day as a family when i was a child.  i remember the thrill of getting picked up early from school, i remember the year that it snowed on opening day and we went anyway, i remember the year our tickets were stolen out of my mother's vest pocket when we stopped at the grocery store on the way to the stadium.  

i had decided (and it took awhile) to take only my pentax to the stadium on monday.  i had a recent round of good luck with film, and i was inspired to try some more.  i knew it was unrealistic to take the digital and film cameras both - trying to squeeze into narrow seats and navigate the crowds with my kids and two cameras, it just wasn't happening - and i chose the film camera.

monday morning i (had to search around for awhile before i) grabbed the pentax - and saw, much to my surprise, that i had already taken 4 pictures on a new roll.  i debated grabbing a second roll of film, but figured i'd never take that many pictures.  and i went.

i picked up the kids early from school (which is nearly as thrilling for me now, and maybe more so, as being picked up early from school was when i was a kid), and we took the light rail downtown.  there were so many photo opportunities on our way into the stadium - the crowds, the flags, the colors, a brass band - but i didn't reach for the camera until we were seated in our (second! row!) seats.  i took two photos before i checked the rewind button (i don't know what possessed me) and realized that the camera was empty.  no film.  those 4 "pictures" were just somebody playing with the film-advance.

i was so disappointed.  so disappointed.  it was this funny moment - in which i was accutely aware of my disappointment, and at the same time strangely aware that i wasn't wallowing in disappointment.  i even remember wondering how disappointed i ought to be.  but it was just a moment.  and then we standing for the national anthem and the players were running out onto the field and i had goosebumps as big as polkadots and i put the camera away and sat back and enjoyed the game.  my family.  the glorious day.

i'm still disappointed, but only a teesy bit.  i did practice looking differently - as though i was shooting film (which we all know is different from shooting digital) and i'll definitely try again.  i realize this isn't exactly a captivating story.  but somehow it was asking to be told.  so thanks for listening.