on monday we took the kids to the baseball game. it was the season home opener, and i'm not sure who was more thrilled - them, or me.
we used to go to opening day as a family when i was a child. i remember the thrill of getting picked up early from school, i remember the year that it snowed on opening day and we went anyway, i remember the year our tickets were stolen out of my mother's vest pocket when we stopped at the grocery store on the way to the stadium.
i had decided (and it took awhile) to take only my pentax to the stadium on monday. i had a recent round of good luck with film, and i was inspired to try some more. i knew it was unrealistic to take the digital and film cameras both - trying to squeeze into narrow seats and navigate the crowds with my kids and two cameras, it just wasn't happening - and i chose the film camera.
monday morning i (had to search around for awhile before i) grabbed the pentax - and saw, much to my surprise, that i had already taken 4 pictures on a new roll. i debated grabbing a second roll of film, but figured i'd never take that many pictures. and i went.
i picked up the kids early from school (which is nearly as thrilling for me now, and maybe more so, as being picked up early from school was when i was a kid), and we took the light rail downtown. there were so many photo opportunities on our way into the stadium - the crowds, the flags, the colors, a brass band - but i didn't reach for the camera until we were seated in our (second! row!) seats. i took two photos before i checked the rewind button (i don't know what possessed me) and realized that the camera was empty. no film. those 4 "pictures" were just somebody playing with the film-advance.
i was so disappointed. so disappointed. it was this funny moment - in which i was accutely aware of my disappointment, and at the same time strangely aware that i wasn't wallowing in disappointment. i even remember wondering how disappointed i ought to be. but it was just a moment. and then we standing for the national anthem and the players were running out onto the field and i had goosebumps as big as polkadots and i put the camera away and sat back and enjoyed the game. my family. the glorious day.
i'm still disappointed, but only a teesy bit. i did practice looking differently - as though i was shooting film (which we all know is different from shooting digital) and i'll definitely try again. i realize this isn't exactly a captivating story. but somehow it was asking to be told. so thanks for listening.